Ability to communicate is a blessing to humanity available to all. Without words there can be no communication; without communication there is no intimacy. We have freedom of speech. But a misused freedom imprisons life. An untamed tongue is a world of evil, full of deadly Poison. The wise controls his tongue. A fool’s voice is known by his many words. The tongue has no bone but it has broken many hearts. Learn how to talk. Many are in prison because of lack of wisdom in speech. Some have lost favour, job and opportunities because of unwise use of words. There is freedom of speech but freedom after speech is not guaranteed. Bite your words before you speak them. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. A man has joy in making an apt answer, and a word spoken at the right moment, how good it is.
When an argument flares up, the wise quenches it by silence. A bigger fool than “the one who knows it all” is the one who argues with him. Learned arguments do not make a man holy and righteous whereas good life makes him dear to his Creator. It is better to turn away from things that annoy you and to leave each man to his own opinions than to be carried away in an argument. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. These days people do not defend what is right any more, the defend who and what the like. Arguing with a fool only proves that there are two fools. Avoid arguing with the devil, he is an expert in it having practiced for thousands of years. He is a special gold medalist in argument. And quoting the scripture out of context is his instrument of work. Even in preaching the gospel, aim at winning a soul not an argument. Don’t fight a battle you don’t gain anything by winning. And it is better to win through action than argument. Maturity is when you prefer to stay silent instead of arguing. Let distance be your response. Don’t argue, just remove yourself. Avoiding people for peace is self-care. Even though I believe that there is life in other planets like Mars and Jupiter; For it is unthinkable that the all wise Supreme Being will create a planet about one hundred and twenty times the size of the earth, having over ninety moons, and leave it empty, uninhabited. Why the moons if there are no beings there who need them and the sun for times and seasons. But there is no need arguing about it as winning the argument may not be of any gain to me. There is life in Mars. Science and technology is not needed in this matter.
No man can safely speak but the man who loves silence. Great men do not speak in anger. When there is anger, there is danger. It may be you at your worst not best. The stumbling of a man with his foot is better than the stumbling of a man with his tongue. Words are like bullets. Once they are spoken, they cannot be retrieved; although the speaker may mourn and weep but he cannot take them back. A wise man thinks before he talks, but a fool talks before he thinks. Be cautious. First learn the meaning of what you want to say, and then say it. When you speak at night, lower your voice. When you speak by day, look around first. The walls and the bushes have ears. And do not sigh, your enemies will hear it and laugh.
If you have permission to speak and it is for your good to do so, speak of the things which strengthen love and unity. When called to make a public speech, always remember that the shorter it is, the better it will be. The more you talk the more likely you are to sin. If you are wise, you will talk less or even keep quiet. A man of few words and settled mind is wise. Even a fool is thought wise when he is silent. It pays to keep your mouth shut. Keep quiet until the right time to speak and you will gain a reputation for good sense. There is a time for everything: a time to speak and a time to keep silent. Some people keep quiet because they don’t have anything to say, others keep quiet because they know the right time to speak. Wish people speak when they have something to say, fools speak because they think they have to say something. The wise speak more words from experience; the wiser from experience speak less. Great men are fond of taciturnity. When you have nothing to say, say nothing. It is not glossophobia. Teach your tongue to say, “I don’t know” rather than invent something. You can easily tell a false teacher by the fact that he knows the answers to all questions. Ignorance is always eager to speak. Empty vessels make the most noise. A fool has no delight in understanding but in expressing his own opinion. But it is better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open the mouth and remove all doubts. The best time to hold your tongue is when you think you must say something. It is when the fish opens its mouth that it gets caught. It takes courage to stand and talk; it takes more courage to sit down and listen. Be courageous. Remember not only to say the right thing at the right time, but furthermore, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting time. The tongue is a world of iniquity; it sets on fire the course of nature. Many are in trouble today because of the tongue. SPEAK EVIL OF NO ONE. Say about people what you would like them to say about you. Let your tongue be tamed. Don’t be a man of unclean lips, dwelling in the midst of people of unclean lips. When tempted to complain of what someone said or did, praise something in that person’s life or character. You can never grow tall by cutting someone’s head.
Telling a lie was the first sin the woman (Eve) committed. Touching the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was never forbidden. That lie which seemed innocent gave the serpent the opening he needed. The trouble with little sin is that it doesn’t stay little. Learn to be cautious in speech. Taciturnity and laconism are safer than loquacity and circumlocution. Some people talk to you so they can talk about you. Privacy is power; what people don’t know, they cannot ruin. Be circumspect in talk and walk, we live among evil people with friendly faces.
Remember Samson the great. He could do anything as long as he kept his mouth shut. It was the truth he told that enslaved him. Everyone has a secret that will never be told. Keep yours. Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said. Is not even always good to tell people what you want to do – let them see it. But you must speak when you should. There is a time when keeping silent will mean irresponsibility. It will be nothing less than a betrayal of the truth. Say no to evil, silence means acceptance. It is with the mouth that demons are cast out. So, speak out. To keep silent while a house is burning is a criminal act. One who kept silent when he should speak the truth, has told a big lie. Say what you feel, it is not being rude, it is being real. Those who forsake the law praise the wicked. But such as keep the law contends with them. Whoever goes to battle with a sincere mind to defend good will win. He who passively accepts evil is much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. Fight evil with the sword of your mouth. The righteous man would not only stand in defense of the truth, but he would attack error. When people mess with the messenger, they need to be ignored but when they mess with the kingdom message, they need to be rebuked, exposed and corrected. The message is greater than the messenger. There is an indignation that is justifiable even among the followers of that meek and lowly ONE. But avoid cannibalism and garrulity.
Avoid gossips and lies. (Shun gossips) If you enjoy a gossip about your brother, it may be you don’t hate him but surely you don’t love him. If you allow gossip to monopolize your ear, it is sure to motivate your tongue. Be it known to you that people who gossip with you will always gossip about you. Gossip is sweet in the ear but it damages a lot on the inside. Gossip, if not controlled, kills three persons: the person gossiped to, the person gossiped about and thirdly, the talebearer himself. If you are suffering from a malicious gossip, be calm. Do not panic; If you do, you will say or do something you will be sorry for doing. And it will leave a scar on your personality. If you let the mud dry, it will fall off. If you try to get fresh mud off your cloth, you will rub it in. Don’t seek revenge. The rotten fruits will fall by themselves. Some problems are best solved by neglecting them or allowing some time. The victory of evil over good is always short lived. Lies may have speed but truth has endurance. Nothing exposes the truth as time. The sun, the moon and the truth are three things that will not remain hidden for long. Truth exists; only falsehood has to be invented. Avoid telling lies because when you tell lies, you lose credibility and once you have lost credibility, even when you tell the truth no one believes you. What a great loss. When trust is broken, sorry means nothing. Be in the habit of fact checking your information before disseminating them. Maybe you do not have all the facts. If you lead people into error, and come out of it alone, you are still in error.
Finally, learn to be faithful and gentle in words. Be a man of your word, say what you mean and mean what you say. It is the heart, not the dictionary, that gives real meaning to words. Never make a promise you cannot keep. The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it. Avoid hasty words, dress your words well before they come out. Avoid jokes especially the expensive ones. The trouble with trouble is that it often starts as joke. Avoid harsh words. Kind words are more effective than the best of gifts. But a righteous man gives both. When you are provoked, prove who is resident in your heart. Words are thoughts made audible—(thoughts clothed with vocabulary). You will know if a person loves his community by listening to how he talks about it. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even a drop of bitter water however suddenly jolted. Self control is an evidence of nobility. The spirit that remains gentle under provocation speaks more effectively in favour of the truth than any forcible argument He who under cruelty or abuse fails to maintain a calm and trustful spirit robs his Maker of His opportunity to reveal in him His divine character. I do not mean suppressing your anger. Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and may come forth later in uglier ways.
Ego, whenever it is attacked, experiences anxiety and tries to defend itself. The flesh fights for self –preservation (the law of nature). When repentance is demanded, instead of repenting, tries to justify itself. Instead of accepting the truth, goes on to defend its error. But the best way to dispel darkness is to admit light. Lowliness of heart is the strength that gives victory to the saint. It is a proof that he is connected to the meek and lowly one. Humility is a mark of nobility. Events do not make a man weak, they only show what stuff he is made of. The strength of the outer lure is in the inner lust. A powerful magnet becomes powerless where there are no pieces of iron. Let your words minister grace to the hearers. Gentle words fall lightly but they have great weight. How something is said often counts more than what is said. Even when what we say is correct, if it is expressed in a cruel, proud or insensitive manner, it is likely to do more harm than good. Tone is different from word. In many cases, tones, looks and circumstances interpret words. Let us endeavour to learn how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. We should express love in look and tone. Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots. Stern denunciation hardens the heart against repentance. It is of little use trying to reform others by attacking what we think is a wrong habit. Such effort often results in more harm than good. As the dew and shower fall gently on withering plants, even so should our words fall gently when we seek to win others from error. It is by kind words and acts that we should make the path easy for weary feet. Never just tell people they are wrong; Try to help them understand why they should do something differently. The Son of man became the sinner’s friend before becoming the sinner’s saviour. Only good work done in love bears good fruit. Only truth spoken in love brings healing. Tacit rebuke or consolation can be better at times. To speak well, one must be a good listener. One who is deaf (to what others say or think) will have impediment in speech. Listen well that you may speak well. One big problem we have in communication is we listen to reply instead of to understand.
It is humiliating to have one’s sins pointed out. None should make the experience more bitter by needless censure. Friends of Job comforted him for seven days without speaking a word, but their presence only. Their later irritating censure, circumlocution and rigmarole indicted them. Help does not always mean cash. Sometimes your presence is the best help you can give to someone. Let your words minister grace to the hearers. Grace is the attribute of the Almighty exercised towards the undeserving. It is not for the worthy, but for the unworthy. It manifests the power, the glory and the exceeding riches of His grace. Only fools speak in anger, and inveigh people with their stream of invectives. Make a speech not a noise. Blustery talk and insulting invective are for people who have little substance to back themselves up. While talking during a quarrel, do not over talk; make room for reconciliation.
Concerning the Strong One, it is written: “He was oppressed and He was afflicted; He was falsely accused and wrongly judged; Yet He opened not His mouth”. There are times when silence is eloquence. GREAT MEN DO NOT SPEAK IN ANGER. At such a time, the wise will keep quiet; it is an evil time. Never trust your tongue when you heart is hurt. The highest form of government is to rule oneself, and not to be carried away by impulse. Don’t make decisions when you are angry; and do not make promises when you are in high spirit.
Beware of those who subtly will first lightly speak of their own faults before condemning others in strong terms. They will say: “I know that we all have our weaknesses, but George is rotten. He is a disgrace to the faith”. Be wise, they are like an archer who in an effort to shoot his dart at his target with greater force, will first draw back the arrow to himself as much as he could.
Do yourself good by resisting them, because when we defend the personality of those who are not present with us, we build the confidence of those who are present. Do not join the backbiters (failures) who can only bite the back of those who are in front; or the gossips who like Brutus will stab Caesar at his back. Those who drop the seed of criticism and evil thinking into the mind of others, if their hypocrisy is penetrated, the accuser might become the accused. Know that he who destroys others to gain favour, shall meet destruction at the point of his success.
BETTER BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY, THAN BE SORRY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE SAID.
-BKC YAHKA
Speak Less
